So the other day Logan found his Autism Speaks shirt from the walk we did a few years ago. He wanted to wear it. So I casually asked if he knew what Autism was. He replied, well no not really. Now before everyone thinks I am a bad parent, he is fully aware that he has Aspergers. We told him when he was diagnosed and have discussed it with him several times. When we explained it to him we just said that all it means is that his brain is wired a little differently and that some things come easier to him and some things he has to try a little harder at. So this morning we were talking about Autism and I asked him do you remember what Aspergers is?
And he said yes. Then he proceeds to tell me......"Mom, I am not allowed to say ASS, so from now on I will just call it burgers! " I was literally laughing so hard I almost peed my pants! He thought he was pretty funny too when he realized it wasn't the same thing. We finished our talk and in my head I will always think of ASS-burgers! Or Burgers for short.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
A Visit to the Pricipal's Office
So I haven't updated this blog in a very long time. Not because I had nothing to write about, because I always have a stack of ideas that I could write at length about. Mostly I think it was because for his first year of primary school, he was settling in really well, excelling and really growing socially. Honestly, I think the superstitious side of me thought I might jinx it. He had the perfect teacher for him, he had very few issues in class, and overall was excited, engaged, and making friends. Well awhile back, that all changed. There was a change up, a change up that he still has not figured out how to get past. They rearranged a few kids and his class got a new student and this student has a hard time in class. Now I want to be clear, this blog post isn't about the new student, this blog post is about my son. I will let their parents worry about any issue with them, my concern is my son.
So for the past few months, Logan gets off the bus and we always have a chat about how his day went. Now keep in mind Logan doesn't lie. He will tell you EXACTLY what happened, even if he knows he might be in trouble. So several times he has come home saying that he lost free time or had a rough day. Always followed by how the new student was loud, disruptive, and really bothers him. To my knowledge none of this is directed at Logan, but it is consistently a problem and Logan can't seem to block this child out. To complicate matters, Logan is "suppose" to be able to tell a teacher when he needs a break in order to recover independently when he starts getting flustered, however Kindergarten in not what is used to be. When I was in Kindergarten I remember coloring, painting and nap time. Now the kids are reading, adding, and doing things we didn't start until 1st or 2nd grade. Now it is so fast paced, I get the feeling he is afraid he will miss something so he doesn't ask for a break when he knows he needs one.
So Thursday we get the phone call every parent dreads. "This is the principal, and your son is in my office." Dun Dun Duh!!!! My husband took the call and handled it. I walk in the door from work that evening and hear the story. After asking the basic parental questions, we have come to figure out that Logan had a rough day because the new student was in class and hadn't been for awhile. Then at lunch he had a hard time keeping his body under control, HUGE clue to us that sensory wise he is already at his max. Then he was moved to a table where other kids that have already been in trouble at lunch get to sit. A kid spit garbage at him twice, Logan spit back, got caught, landing him in the principal's office.
Now as a mother of a child with Aspergers there are a few things I have learned. One; there is almost ALWAYS more to the story when he gets in trouble. Two; having Aspergers is not a free pass for bad behavior, regardless of it being harder for him, he has to learn to behave and follow the rules of society. Three; unless you look at the entire situation from his perspective you will never understand his behavior.
It is hard because the protective Mama Bear in me wants to scream and say "What did you expect? It is like shaking up a bottle of pop and being surprised when it explodes ." However the more rational side of me knows he deserved to get in trouble. He knows better than to spit at someone in any circumstance. He knows if he is overwhelmed he needs to tell an adult that he needs a break. He knows mom can't be there all the time and he needs to be a self advocate. He knows that if someone spits at him he should tell an adult. However he is six, wise beyond his years, but still six. It will take years of practice for all of the coping techniques he has learned to become effortless.
I did call and talk with the principal to let her know we are talking with him at home and working on the problem everyday. I also filled her in on all the things that led up to the incident and the kid who spit at him also wrote an apology note. Also the lunch room aids are going to be made aware of his sensory problems so hopefully with some loving guidance we can avoid setting him up for failure. Also I have been in contact with his teacher about the underlying cause of his anxiety and behavior change in class.
I am thankful the adults in his life are always working toward helping him learn and grow. I am thankful that he has a chance to learn these lessons in a safe space. I am thankful for how far he has come. I believe that these are all just bumps in the road and one day we will tell the story of our first call from his principal and laugh. And I hope one day he can look back on all the lessons learned in Kindergarten and realize that the new student somehow helped him better understand his sensory issues and limits. We can't control our environment but we can learn to cope and process that environment and limit negative responses. These are just a few of things that you never see coming. They blindside you and shake you out of your comfort zone. It reminds me that we have to continue working with him even when he is doing well, we have to keep talking about social situations and practice our responses.
So for the past few months, Logan gets off the bus and we always have a chat about how his day went. Now keep in mind Logan doesn't lie. He will tell you EXACTLY what happened, even if he knows he might be in trouble. So several times he has come home saying that he lost free time or had a rough day. Always followed by how the new student was loud, disruptive, and really bothers him. To my knowledge none of this is directed at Logan, but it is consistently a problem and Logan can't seem to block this child out. To complicate matters, Logan is "suppose" to be able to tell a teacher when he needs a break in order to recover independently when he starts getting flustered, however Kindergarten in not what is used to be. When I was in Kindergarten I remember coloring, painting and nap time. Now the kids are reading, adding, and doing things we didn't start until 1st or 2nd grade. Now it is so fast paced, I get the feeling he is afraid he will miss something so he doesn't ask for a break when he knows he needs one.
So Thursday we get the phone call every parent dreads. "This is the principal, and your son is in my office." Dun Dun Duh!!!! My husband took the call and handled it. I walk in the door from work that evening and hear the story. After asking the basic parental questions, we have come to figure out that Logan had a rough day because the new student was in class and hadn't been for awhile. Then at lunch he had a hard time keeping his body under control, HUGE clue to us that sensory wise he is already at his max. Then he was moved to a table where other kids that have already been in trouble at lunch get to sit. A kid spit garbage at him twice, Logan spit back, got caught, landing him in the principal's office.
Now as a mother of a child with Aspergers there are a few things I have learned. One; there is almost ALWAYS more to the story when he gets in trouble. Two; having Aspergers is not a free pass for bad behavior, regardless of it being harder for him, he has to learn to behave and follow the rules of society. Three; unless you look at the entire situation from his perspective you will never understand his behavior.
It is hard because the protective Mama Bear in me wants to scream and say "What did you expect? It is like shaking up a bottle of pop and being surprised when it explodes ." However the more rational side of me knows he deserved to get in trouble. He knows better than to spit at someone in any circumstance. He knows if he is overwhelmed he needs to tell an adult that he needs a break. He knows mom can't be there all the time and he needs to be a self advocate. He knows that if someone spits at him he should tell an adult. However he is six, wise beyond his years, but still six. It will take years of practice for all of the coping techniques he has learned to become effortless.
I did call and talk with the principal to let her know we are talking with him at home and working on the problem everyday. I also filled her in on all the things that led up to the incident and the kid who spit at him also wrote an apology note. Also the lunch room aids are going to be made aware of his sensory problems so hopefully with some loving guidance we can avoid setting him up for failure. Also I have been in contact with his teacher about the underlying cause of his anxiety and behavior change in class.
I am thankful the adults in his life are always working toward helping him learn and grow. I am thankful that he has a chance to learn these lessons in a safe space. I am thankful for how far he has come. I believe that these are all just bumps in the road and one day we will tell the story of our first call from his principal and laugh. And I hope one day he can look back on all the lessons learned in Kindergarten and realize that the new student somehow helped him better understand his sensory issues and limits. We can't control our environment but we can learn to cope and process that environment and limit negative responses. These are just a few of things that you never see coming. They blindside you and shake you out of your comfort zone. It reminds me that we have to continue working with him even when he is doing well, we have to keep talking about social situations and practice our responses.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Ohhh the hospital..........
So Logan had quite an ordeal a few weeks ago. He got very very sick and ended up in the ER with severe abdominal pain. The first hospital thought it was his appendix and transferred him to another hospital by ambulance. Where they found out he actually had Scarlet Fever. All of this is really beside the point, this blog is about how the staff dealt with Logan. I has taken me almost a month to fully process how I felt about the entire event. Being that I was almost 8 months pregnant at the time I needed to process everything and make sure I was not being overly emotional about the situation. Lets start with Hospital Number 1, shall we?
Well the first hospital we went to was our local small town hospital. The ER was not busy and they got us back almost immediately. I informed the nurse that Logan had Aspergers and was amazed at the care and concern he received from the entire nursing staff and the Dr. They all spoke very softly and calmly, they told him everything they were going to do and why before they did it, and the Dr. even asked if there was something special he should do. Overall even when he was very upset about the IV the Dr and nursing staff was absolutely amazing! I was relieved. When they transferred him to the local Children's Hospital they tried to arrange a transport ambulance that I could ride with him, but it was going to be hours. So in the end they had a special pediatric transport team come, and I had to load Logan in an ambulance by himself.
The pediatric transport team was amazing as well. There was a nurse, a medic, and a driver. They new about his Aspergers and did an amazing job helping him through the situation. They were kind and caring and walked him through in detail what was going to happen. I prepared Logan as best I could for the trip and I must say he did AMAZING! Surprisingly the hospital I have the issue with was the children's specialty hospital. I must say it appears even the Dr. seemed to lack training on how to deal with any children, let alone one with Aspergers or ASD.
When the Dr. came in she was loud and ignored Logan completely. She began just pushing on his stomach with no warning. He immediately started having a freakout, and she asked if he would even tell me if he had a sore throat. Before I could even answer she said "I doubt it, and left the room." It was one of those parenting moments where hindsight I should have stepped out of the room and called her out, and said " he has Aspergers, he isn't nonverbal, he is aware of what goes on around him, and I would appreciate you treating him like a person!" But I was so overwhelmed to be honest I just looked at Sam and comforted Logan as best I could. The nurses were not better at all. They didn't give him any warning and from my point of view appeared to be manhandling him instead of just telling what they needed him to do. For example, his arm began swelling and they had to adjust his IV which is taped to a board/splint in his arm. The nurse snaps at Logan and begins to fix it and then puts a super hot, heating pad on it without explaining it or letting him feel it or anything. Logan flipped and with good reason. It was hot to me, which I love hot stuff. Logan being very sensitive to temperature it would have felt intense. Sam actually jumped down the nurses throat about it. I am glad he did. There was one person at the entire hospital that seemed to get Logan. He was one of the orderlies. He was a tall lanky kid in his early 20's who was amazing with Logan! I hope he continues on for a nursing degree or to be a Dr, because he was AMAZING. Overall I was incredibly disappointed that they seemed completely unaware of how to treat a person, let alone a child who is scared and has Aspergers.
I seems to me with ASD on the rise that ER's and Dr's would have some type of training surrounding how to deal with kids and adults on the spectrum. I know sometimes in an emergency you just have to get it done, but the times we had issues it wasn't an immediate threat to Logan. I struggle with the fact I didn't confront the nurse and Dr. directly. I also felt as though the nursing staff was acting unprofessionally in other areas, which is an entirely other matter. I will be writing a letter to the hospital about our experience. I know there is a good chance nothing with change, but I have to try to prevent another child from being treated like that. Hopefully Logan doesn't have to go through anything like that again, and I don't believe I will let it go unchecked again. Logan is bright, aware, and capable. He just does better when he has compassionate caring professionals taking care of him.
Well the first hospital we went to was our local small town hospital. The ER was not busy and they got us back almost immediately. I informed the nurse that Logan had Aspergers and was amazed at the care and concern he received from the entire nursing staff and the Dr. They all spoke very softly and calmly, they told him everything they were going to do and why before they did it, and the Dr. even asked if there was something special he should do. Overall even when he was very upset about the IV the Dr and nursing staff was absolutely amazing! I was relieved. When they transferred him to the local Children's Hospital they tried to arrange a transport ambulance that I could ride with him, but it was going to be hours. So in the end they had a special pediatric transport team come, and I had to load Logan in an ambulance by himself.
The pediatric transport team was amazing as well. There was a nurse, a medic, and a driver. They new about his Aspergers and did an amazing job helping him through the situation. They were kind and caring and walked him through in detail what was going to happen. I prepared Logan as best I could for the trip and I must say he did AMAZING! Surprisingly the hospital I have the issue with was the children's specialty hospital. I must say it appears even the Dr. seemed to lack training on how to deal with any children, let alone one with Aspergers or ASD.
When the Dr. came in she was loud and ignored Logan completely. She began just pushing on his stomach with no warning. He immediately started having a freakout, and she asked if he would even tell me if he had a sore throat. Before I could even answer she said "I doubt it, and left the room." It was one of those parenting moments where hindsight I should have stepped out of the room and called her out, and said " he has Aspergers, he isn't nonverbal, he is aware of what goes on around him, and I would appreciate you treating him like a person!" But I was so overwhelmed to be honest I just looked at Sam and comforted Logan as best I could. The nurses were not better at all. They didn't give him any warning and from my point of view appeared to be manhandling him instead of just telling what they needed him to do. For example, his arm began swelling and they had to adjust his IV which is taped to a board/splint in his arm. The nurse snaps at Logan and begins to fix it and then puts a super hot, heating pad on it without explaining it or letting him feel it or anything. Logan flipped and with good reason. It was hot to me, which I love hot stuff. Logan being very sensitive to temperature it would have felt intense. Sam actually jumped down the nurses throat about it. I am glad he did. There was one person at the entire hospital that seemed to get Logan. He was one of the orderlies. He was a tall lanky kid in his early 20's who was amazing with Logan! I hope he continues on for a nursing degree or to be a Dr, because he was AMAZING. Overall I was incredibly disappointed that they seemed completely unaware of how to treat a person, let alone a child who is scared and has Aspergers.
I seems to me with ASD on the rise that ER's and Dr's would have some type of training surrounding how to deal with kids and adults on the spectrum. I know sometimes in an emergency you just have to get it done, but the times we had issues it wasn't an immediate threat to Logan. I struggle with the fact I didn't confront the nurse and Dr. directly. I also felt as though the nursing staff was acting unprofessionally in other areas, which is an entirely other matter. I will be writing a letter to the hospital about our experience. I know there is a good chance nothing with change, but I have to try to prevent another child from being treated like that. Hopefully Logan doesn't have to go through anything like that again, and I don't believe I will let it go unchecked again. Logan is bright, aware, and capable. He just does better when he has compassionate caring professionals taking care of him.
Monday, January 16, 2012
What happens now?
Well a lot of people wonder what happens after D-Day? What happens when you know your child has Aspergers? Well for us it was time to jump into action and embrace the amazing child that was meant for us. It seems like a big responsibility not only do we need to help him in the areas he is behind but we need to keep up with his amazing little brain! We have been blessed with an amazing support system which has been instrumental in getting Logan this far. He is enrolled in 2 different preschools. In the morning 3 days a week he goes to a Co-op preschool and in the afternoon he is enrolled in the Early Intervention Preschool through the school district on his IEP.
At the Co-op he has the opportunity to play and learn with an amazing group of kids. It is a very loving, secure environment where the parents are really involved! It has been amazing to see him surrounded by not just Sam and I but an entire group of adults who take the time to understand how his little brain works and take the time to walk him through the social and emotional missteps that are common place for him. The teacher, Michelle has a unique bond with him, and somehow always knows how to talk him through his trouble spots. Some of his biggest cheerleader have been his friends from preschool and their parents. We have had some HUGE breakthroughs occur within those walls and those amazing people have been a huge part of that. Just last week we had one of those huge breakthroughs. Logan does very well with set boundaries. Last year he really struggled with circle time at school. He used to hide under the easels or get very upset and have huge meltdowns. After we learned about his possible Aspergers we realized he wasn't being difficult, it was too overwhelming for him. With his sensory problems it was just too much for his brain to process. After months and months of circle time we finally got Logan to sit on alphabet rug with the other kids. He felt safe inside the confines of his "L." So day after day Logan would sit on his "L" and nowhere else. This was our saving grace last year, the more time he spent at circle time, the more he got comfortable and the better he did with the overwhelming sensory environment. Now fast forward to this year. Last year there was 8 kids in his class, now there are 15. That "L" became his lifeline. However in a group of 15- 4 year olds, it also become a source of confrontation. Now the kids are 4, I truly believe it is not an intentional act to be mean, but they love to steal the "L" after all if Logan likes it so much it must be magical right? So several months ago my mother made him a special mat with his name Logan B. on it. More about why he prefers to be Logan B later. So we have been trying to retrain Logan B's brain that if someone takes the "L" there are several things you can do:
1. Ask politely if you can have the L
2. Choose a different letter to sit on
3. Or quietly go get your mat and sit there
Now we have been working on this "L" problem for the better part of the year. And we have gone from full out freak outs, to really pretty minor upsets. But last Monday we had our huge BREAKTHROUGH!!! One of the kids had sat on Logan's "L" and calmly and quietly Logan said I guess I should get my mat. He got his mat sat it next to his friend and continued to enjoy cirlce time! One of the parents who will forever hold a special place in my heart rushed right over to give him positive reinforcement for making such a good choice. For those of you you have never dealt with a child with Aspergers it may not sound like much but we have literally spend HOURS AND HOURS of time on this problem. He would cry and cry and come home stressed about why the other kids take his "L" and no matter how many times we explain it or tried to give him alternatives it just wouldn't click! And now with the help of an entire group of everyday angels Logan has learned a valuable cooping technique that hopefully will overflow into other areas of his life. He is starting to accept "change ups" in his everyday routine and as his mother I am so thankful for that!
Now 4 days a week he also attends the REIP which is R. Early Intervention Preschool. It is through his school district and has been a huge blessing. He has his IEP established and has an amazing teacher, several aides and his occupational therapist. These amazing women provide yet another support system for Logan and for us and have help so much with his self esteem and independence. I admit I have not been as involved as I should be at his afternoon preschool. I struggle with how much Mom is too much MOM? He is so independent and the teacher does an amazing job of holding the bar very high for him, which he needs. I feel like I might hold him back by hoovering, he is capable of so much and they have just the right mix to get amazing results. When he first started there he would not acknowledge the teacher when she greeted him in the morning and now he always responds with eye contact, however brief and a "Hello Teacher Marci!" This is where he got his new name Logan B. There are 2 Logans in his class. He decided that it was all or nothing, so everything needed to be changed to Logan B. If forget even on his lunch note he reminds me that Logan is not his name! It is Logan B. :) I thought it was a phase but 5 months later he is still Logan B.
We are still just at the beginning of our very long journey with Aspergers. The things Logan B. has accomplished so far have put my mind at ease that he will be just fine. That Aspergers is just a part of who he is and will NOT define what he will do in the future or what he is capable of. I no longer fear what is ahead but look forward to seeing where this all will lead. We have an amazing network of people ready to catch us if we fall, and help push us when we feel overwhelmed. It may not take a village to raise a child, but it does if you want to do it right!
At the Co-op he has the opportunity to play and learn with an amazing group of kids. It is a very loving, secure environment where the parents are really involved! It has been amazing to see him surrounded by not just Sam and I but an entire group of adults who take the time to understand how his little brain works and take the time to walk him through the social and emotional missteps that are common place for him. The teacher, Michelle has a unique bond with him, and somehow always knows how to talk him through his trouble spots. Some of his biggest cheerleader have been his friends from preschool and their parents. We have had some HUGE breakthroughs occur within those walls and those amazing people have been a huge part of that. Just last week we had one of those huge breakthroughs. Logan does very well with set boundaries. Last year he really struggled with circle time at school. He used to hide under the easels or get very upset and have huge meltdowns. After we learned about his possible Aspergers we realized he wasn't being difficult, it was too overwhelming for him. With his sensory problems it was just too much for his brain to process. After months and months of circle time we finally got Logan to sit on alphabet rug with the other kids. He felt safe inside the confines of his "L." So day after day Logan would sit on his "L" and nowhere else. This was our saving grace last year, the more time he spent at circle time, the more he got comfortable and the better he did with the overwhelming sensory environment. Now fast forward to this year. Last year there was 8 kids in his class, now there are 15. That "L" became his lifeline. However in a group of 15- 4 year olds, it also become a source of confrontation. Now the kids are 4, I truly believe it is not an intentional act to be mean, but they love to steal the "L" after all if Logan likes it so much it must be magical right? So several months ago my mother made him a special mat with his name Logan B. on it. More about why he prefers to be Logan B later. So we have been trying to retrain Logan B's brain that if someone takes the "L" there are several things you can do:
1. Ask politely if you can have the L
2. Choose a different letter to sit on
3. Or quietly go get your mat and sit there
Now we have been working on this "L" problem for the better part of the year. And we have gone from full out freak outs, to really pretty minor upsets. But last Monday we had our huge BREAKTHROUGH!!! One of the kids had sat on Logan's "L" and calmly and quietly Logan said I guess I should get my mat. He got his mat sat it next to his friend and continued to enjoy cirlce time! One of the parents who will forever hold a special place in my heart rushed right over to give him positive reinforcement for making such a good choice. For those of you you have never dealt with a child with Aspergers it may not sound like much but we have literally spend HOURS AND HOURS of time on this problem. He would cry and cry and come home stressed about why the other kids take his "L" and no matter how many times we explain it or tried to give him alternatives it just wouldn't click! And now with the help of an entire group of everyday angels Logan has learned a valuable cooping technique that hopefully will overflow into other areas of his life. He is starting to accept "change ups" in his everyday routine and as his mother I am so thankful for that!
Now 4 days a week he also attends the REIP which is R. Early Intervention Preschool. It is through his school district and has been a huge blessing. He has his IEP established and has an amazing teacher, several aides and his occupational therapist. These amazing women provide yet another support system for Logan and for us and have help so much with his self esteem and independence. I admit I have not been as involved as I should be at his afternoon preschool. I struggle with how much Mom is too much MOM? He is so independent and the teacher does an amazing job of holding the bar very high for him, which he needs. I feel like I might hold him back by hoovering, he is capable of so much and they have just the right mix to get amazing results. When he first started there he would not acknowledge the teacher when she greeted him in the morning and now he always responds with eye contact, however brief and a "Hello Teacher Marci!" This is where he got his new name Logan B. There are 2 Logans in his class. He decided that it was all or nothing, so everything needed to be changed to Logan B. If forget even on his lunch note he reminds me that Logan is not his name! It is Logan B. :) I thought it was a phase but 5 months later he is still Logan B.
We are still just at the beginning of our very long journey with Aspergers. The things Logan B. has accomplished so far have put my mind at ease that he will be just fine. That Aspergers is just a part of who he is and will NOT define what he will do in the future or what he is capable of. I no longer fear what is ahead but look forward to seeing where this all will lead. We have an amazing network of people ready to catch us if we fall, and help push us when we feel overwhelmed. It may not take a village to raise a child, but it does if you want to do it right!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
D Day......
Well Tuesday was the day we had been waiting for and dreading for the better part of a year. I had run through the list of quirks to talk about and a list of 100's of questions and the night before Diagnosis Day I felt a bit numb. I expected to feel anxious, stressed, or down right crazy. And instead I felt as though it was little more than a formality, a hoop to be jumped through to achieve a goal. After the initial stage of denial when they first uttered the word Aspergers to us, I had decided that knowledge is power and began reading everything I could get my grubby little hands on that related to Aspergers and Autism. And after about the second or third book I felt like I was reading Logan's story over and over. It didn't take long for Sam and I to admit that our son most likely had Aspergers.
The few months after we received the referral I felt as thought we cast out in the middle of a stormy ocean, alone without guidance. "By the way, we think your son has Asperger's a type of Autism. By the way it take between 8 months and a year to be seen by the developmental pediatrician. Good Luck." That is all we got. And there we are with a 4 year old that is so smart we have a hard time keeping him stimulated, he is struggle in school due to social and sensory problems, he still isn't potty trained, and we still really had no clue to what was prompting his tantrums and stress. When I called the office to find out about when he would be seen, they informed us that we "might" be able to speak to a nurse if it was an emergency. So unless he tries to burn the house down, forget it! It was a dark time for us. There were a lot of tears, and lots and lots of research. After we started him at the Early Intervention Preschool and got his evaluation scores back from them we embraced what we had known for a while. The test scores showed he was advanced in language, and on track for cognitive(which the Dr told us the score was pulled down because he didn't understand abstract ideas like time), and had significant delays in social, adaptive and fine motor skills. The school can't diagnosis him but I know that is exactly what they find in kids with Aspergers.
So the last few months have been filled with coping techniques, picture charts, social stories, and anything else that we thought might help. We also began letting people know what was going on, and even talked to Logan a little bit about it. I asked him if he had heard us talk about Aspergers. And he said he had. So I explained that all it means is that his brain works differently that other kids. Some things he is going to pick up very quickly , and other things like social skills and potty training he is going to have to try very hard to learn. He seemed satisfied with the explanation almost as if he knew what I meant. So now that we were staring down the looming D Day I didn't have the anxiety I expected. I was already at peace with everything that made my son special and amazing including Aspergers.
The office visit was very long. I believe we were there for over 2 hours. We went over all the school tests and all the tests that they had done and every single one he fell into the small area on the Autism Spectrum where Aspergers falls. We also spent a long time discussing if now was the right time for him to be diagnosed. 4 is very young for an Aspergers diagnosis, apparently it normally happens between 6 and 8. After talking out all the pros and cons, the Dr decided it was in Logan's best interest to diagnose him now. My opinion was if it looks like a duck, walk like a duck, acts like a duck, and is responding to a duck call, lets call it a duck so he can get the help a duck might need. In the end, they did diagnose him with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and he falls where Aspergers currently is on the spectrum. As of the release of the next DSM-5 Aspergers is no longer a diagnosis, and it will all be under the umbrella diagnosis of ASD. That is a post for another day though.
Through out the appointment we received a ton of very encouraging news. First off although he needs help in several areas he said that getting Logan through school will be the hardest part. He also said that all though they won't do an IQ test until around 6, his language and cognitive scores are a very good indication that he will be incredibly bright and combined with his ability to hyper focus on certain subjects, as in adult he most likely will be amazing in whatever career he chooses. We also went over the services we have lined up for the next school year and who we contact for any other services we may need. He was very happy with the plan we had in place. All in all I thought I would cry hearing it be finalized, surprisingly my reaction was one of relief and resolve to be my son's biggest advocate. The hardest part is over now we know and can help him acquire the skills needed to be a successful adult. I guess now we just wait and see where this adventure takes us.
The few months after we received the referral I felt as thought we cast out in the middle of a stormy ocean, alone without guidance. "By the way, we think your son has Asperger's a type of Autism. By the way it take between 8 months and a year to be seen by the developmental pediatrician. Good Luck." That is all we got. And there we are with a 4 year old that is so smart we have a hard time keeping him stimulated, he is struggle in school due to social and sensory problems, he still isn't potty trained, and we still really had no clue to what was prompting his tantrums and stress. When I called the office to find out about when he would be seen, they informed us that we "might" be able to speak to a nurse if it was an emergency. So unless he tries to burn the house down, forget it! It was a dark time for us. There were a lot of tears, and lots and lots of research. After we started him at the Early Intervention Preschool and got his evaluation scores back from them we embraced what we had known for a while. The test scores showed he was advanced in language, and on track for cognitive(which the Dr told us the score was pulled down because he didn't understand abstract ideas like time), and had significant delays in social, adaptive and fine motor skills. The school can't diagnosis him but I know that is exactly what they find in kids with Aspergers.
So the last few months have been filled with coping techniques, picture charts, social stories, and anything else that we thought might help. We also began letting people know what was going on, and even talked to Logan a little bit about it. I asked him if he had heard us talk about Aspergers. And he said he had. So I explained that all it means is that his brain works differently that other kids. Some things he is going to pick up very quickly , and other things like social skills and potty training he is going to have to try very hard to learn. He seemed satisfied with the explanation almost as if he knew what I meant. So now that we were staring down the looming D Day I didn't have the anxiety I expected. I was already at peace with everything that made my son special and amazing including Aspergers.
The office visit was very long. I believe we were there for over 2 hours. We went over all the school tests and all the tests that they had done and every single one he fell into the small area on the Autism Spectrum where Aspergers falls. We also spent a long time discussing if now was the right time for him to be diagnosed. 4 is very young for an Aspergers diagnosis, apparently it normally happens between 6 and 8. After talking out all the pros and cons, the Dr decided it was in Logan's best interest to diagnose him now. My opinion was if it looks like a duck, walk like a duck, acts like a duck, and is responding to a duck call, lets call it a duck so he can get the help a duck might need. In the end, they did diagnose him with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and he falls where Aspergers currently is on the spectrum. As of the release of the next DSM-5 Aspergers is no longer a diagnosis, and it will all be under the umbrella diagnosis of ASD. That is a post for another day though.
Through out the appointment we received a ton of very encouraging news. First off although he needs help in several areas he said that getting Logan through school will be the hardest part. He also said that all though they won't do an IQ test until around 6, his language and cognitive scores are a very good indication that he will be incredibly bright and combined with his ability to hyper focus on certain subjects, as in adult he most likely will be amazing in whatever career he chooses. We also went over the services we have lined up for the next school year and who we contact for any other services we may need. He was very happy with the plan we had in place. All in all I thought I would cry hearing it be finalized, surprisingly my reaction was one of relief and resolve to be my son's biggest advocate. The hardest part is over now we know and can help him acquire the skills needed to be a successful adult. I guess now we just wait and see where this adventure takes us.
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Wrong Walmart...
So those of you who know Logan, understand his need for routine and things he is familiar with. If he had his way he would never have to leave his room, could play trains until he passes out every evening and survive on nothing but cheese sandwiches and cream cheese bagels. He has been branching out lately and has even enjoyed our busy schedule. We started prepping him before we leave the house each day with the schedule so he knows what is coming. We have to include every detail, such as we are going to swing by the post office to drop of a letter, stop at the gas station, run to Walmart ect. If you throw in an extra stop, he gets upset because that wasn't the plan. The plan was A,B,C in that order only! So anyways we decided to take him to Charlie Safari last week which is a huge bounce house. I also needed to stop by Walmart afterwards. So I told him we will go to Charlie Safari and then we will go to Walmart. Well Charlie Safari is 20 miles north of our house, and our normal Walmart is 10 mins south. So me being an amateur thought we would stop by the Walmart right by Charlie's Safari. That is where the trouble began.
So we pull in the parking lot and immediately Logan starts freaking out! "This isn't the right Walmart." "I will not go in there." "This is the wrong Walmart." And so it proceeded until he was almost in a full panic attack. So I calmly explained that we were too far away from the other Walmart, and this Walmart was the same as the one we normally go to. We spelled out Walmart on the building and everything. And he was NOT having it. It literally took me 15 minutes to convince him that he would not spontaneously burst in to flames if he entered the wrong Walmart. I finally told him that they had more toys than our Walmart and we should go check out the new Cars 2 toys to see what they had before we pass judgement. And as though a light switch flipped he agreed and he cautiously walked to the door with me.
It was one of those moments I never saw coming. We have been helping him with his coping skills and preparing him for changes in the plan, but I never thought a different Walmart would trigger such a strong response. We survived our little shopping adventure, and today we went to a different Walmart, to see how he would react. And as we were walking in he explained to Daddy that this was a wonderful different Walmart, and that it was OK. And Sam and I both smiled with a sigh of relief. I suppose we should get used to these surprising bumps along the way, and practice helping him through. We have had these issues before at school with different things like the job chart, and the first time is always the worst. Then when it comes up again and I remind him that last time it worked out and that usually helps ease his mind a bit. I guess we are all learning coping skills, and it keeps getting better every day!
So we pull in the parking lot and immediately Logan starts freaking out! "This isn't the right Walmart." "I will not go in there." "This is the wrong Walmart." And so it proceeded until he was almost in a full panic attack. So I calmly explained that we were too far away from the other Walmart, and this Walmart was the same as the one we normally go to. We spelled out Walmart on the building and everything. And he was NOT having it. It literally took me 15 minutes to convince him that he would not spontaneously burst in to flames if he entered the wrong Walmart. I finally told him that they had more toys than our Walmart and we should go check out the new Cars 2 toys to see what they had before we pass judgement. And as though a light switch flipped he agreed and he cautiously walked to the door with me.
It was one of those moments I never saw coming. We have been helping him with his coping skills and preparing him for changes in the plan, but I never thought a different Walmart would trigger such a strong response. We survived our little shopping adventure, and today we went to a different Walmart, to see how he would react. And as we were walking in he explained to Daddy that this was a wonderful different Walmart, and that it was OK. And Sam and I both smiled with a sigh of relief. I suppose we should get used to these surprising bumps along the way, and practice helping him through. We have had these issues before at school with different things like the job chart, and the first time is always the worst. Then when it comes up again and I remind him that last time it worked out and that usually helps ease his mind a bit. I guess we are all learning coping skills, and it keeps getting better every day!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
He is just quirky......right?!?
I am not sure were to begin this blog. In some ways this situation just began and in other ways it has been in the works for years. And I decided to share our story in the hopes of giving other people a glimpse into our life, and bringing hope to other families touched by Autism and Aspergers. In some ways it feels very strange to be writing this because my son has still not been officially diagnosed. All we know for sure is that he is developmentally delayed in social, adaptive, and fine motor skills. They have not "officially" attached a name to it yet, and yet I feel very confident in saying my son has Aspergers. It sounds like such a scary thing, Aspergers a Autism Spectrum Disorder. But in the Bocook house we see it a bit differently than most people. It isn't an label, it isn't a disability, it isn't a scary big bad word. It is one of the many things that makes my son amazing. It has as many perks as drawbacks. He is gifted and sees the world through a truly amazing perspective. He sees the world from outside the box, has a true love of learning, and an almost photographic memory. His world is organized chaos, full of amazing patterns and structure. We may not understand the rules but if we take the time to ask, there is a method to his madness. He loves dictionary definitions, trains, and is starting to take to spelling to and math. He is amazing if people just take the time to see it.
He is not without his issues. He can be VERY literal. I really have to watch what I say around him. We recently were learning the planets, because he is fascinated with space. And I was explaining Uranus. And as he was repeating them back to me he said and that blue planet is "My Anus" planet. It has now been almost six months and I think we have him convinced that is is Uranus, not My Anus. At 4 years old I will admit that it was hilarious and a but adorable. But these misunderstanding happen on an almost daily basis and I can see problems in the future if we don't work on these things. Another issue is he can be very rigid which makes making friends a bit tough. When he plays trains he has ONE order in which it is acceptable to play trains, for instance Hank (from Thomas) and then 3 grey freight cars, 2 green, 1 blue then a caboose. There is no other order, so when another 4 year old wants to play World War 3 ensues. He struggles with potty training, transitions, routine change ups, and the list goes on and on. BUT, and that is a BIG but, all of that seems to fade away when you sit down and take the time to see Logan for Logan. For the most part we have been extremely blessed to be surrounded by loving wonderful people who are supportive and understanding. To the rest of the people who we have encountered, they get the standard answer of, "We Are Working on That." Now if you have received that response from me it doesn't mean you automatically fall into the second category. It means that sometimes I don't want to go into why he is doing what he is doing. I am new to all this too, and when he is doing something out of the ordinary like melting down because the trains are out of order, playing with the shopping cart wheels, or making strange sounds when he gets stressed out we can't explain it any better that you can.
I feel like it is my job as his parent to help him develop his talents and strengthen his weakness. That is going to happen regardless of whether not he has Aspergers. He has his evaluation appointment this next week and I thankful we can move on from the "Winging it" stage. Although we have made huge strides, now we will have the resources to help him achieve his true potential. I am thankful to have an amazing husband who is truly on board through this process. In our house we celebrate the small stuff, whether it be a good day at school, a poop in the potty, eye contact or an unsolicited "I Love You." Some say Autism is a lifetime diagnosis but that doesn't mean it has to be a life sentence. Please feel free to comment and tell me a bit about your stories or connection with Autism. I will be continuing this blog to document our Aspergers Adventure.
He is not without his issues. He can be VERY literal. I really have to watch what I say around him. We recently were learning the planets, because he is fascinated with space. And I was explaining Uranus. And as he was repeating them back to me he said and that blue planet is "My Anus" planet. It has now been almost six months and I think we have him convinced that is is Uranus, not My Anus. At 4 years old I will admit that it was hilarious and a but adorable. But these misunderstanding happen on an almost daily basis and I can see problems in the future if we don't work on these things. Another issue is he can be very rigid which makes making friends a bit tough. When he plays trains he has ONE order in which it is acceptable to play trains, for instance Hank (from Thomas) and then 3 grey freight cars, 2 green, 1 blue then a caboose. There is no other order, so when another 4 year old wants to play World War 3 ensues. He struggles with potty training, transitions, routine change ups, and the list goes on and on. BUT, and that is a BIG but, all of that seems to fade away when you sit down and take the time to see Logan for Logan. For the most part we have been extremely blessed to be surrounded by loving wonderful people who are supportive and understanding. To the rest of the people who we have encountered, they get the standard answer of, "We Are Working on That." Now if you have received that response from me it doesn't mean you automatically fall into the second category. It means that sometimes I don't want to go into why he is doing what he is doing. I am new to all this too, and when he is doing something out of the ordinary like melting down because the trains are out of order, playing with the shopping cart wheels, or making strange sounds when he gets stressed out we can't explain it any better that you can.
I feel like it is my job as his parent to help him develop his talents and strengthen his weakness. That is going to happen regardless of whether not he has Aspergers. He has his evaluation appointment this next week and I thankful we can move on from the "Winging it" stage. Although we have made huge strides, now we will have the resources to help him achieve his true potential. I am thankful to have an amazing husband who is truly on board through this process. In our house we celebrate the small stuff, whether it be a good day at school, a poop in the potty, eye contact or an unsolicited "I Love You." Some say Autism is a lifetime diagnosis but that doesn't mean it has to be a life sentence. Please feel free to comment and tell me a bit about your stories or connection with Autism. I will be continuing this blog to document our Aspergers Adventure.
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