Well Tuesday was the day we had been waiting for and dreading for the better part of a year. I had run through the list of quirks to talk about and a list of 100's of questions and the night before Diagnosis Day I felt a bit numb. I expected to feel anxious, stressed, or down right crazy. And instead I felt as though it was little more than a formality, a hoop to be jumped through to achieve a goal. After the initial stage of denial when they first uttered the word Aspergers to us, I had decided that knowledge is power and began reading everything I could get my grubby little hands on that related to Aspergers and Autism. And after about the second or third book I felt like I was reading Logan's story over and over. It didn't take long for Sam and I to admit that our son most likely had Aspergers.
The few months after we received the referral I felt as thought we cast out in the middle of a stormy ocean, alone without guidance. "By the way, we think your son has Asperger's a type of Autism. By the way it take between 8 months and a year to be seen by the developmental pediatrician. Good Luck." That is all we got. And there we are with a 4 year old that is so smart we have a hard time keeping him stimulated, he is struggle in school due to social and sensory problems, he still isn't potty trained, and we still really had no clue to what was prompting his tantrums and stress. When I called the office to find out about when he would be seen, they informed us that we "might" be able to speak to a nurse if it was an emergency. So unless he tries to burn the house down, forget it! It was a dark time for us. There were a lot of tears, and lots and lots of research. After we started him at the Early Intervention Preschool and got his evaluation scores back from them we embraced what we had known for a while. The test scores showed he was advanced in language, and on track for cognitive(which the Dr told us the score was pulled down because he didn't understand abstract ideas like time), and had significant delays in social, adaptive and fine motor skills. The school can't diagnosis him but I know that is exactly what they find in kids with Aspergers.
So the last few months have been filled with coping techniques, picture charts, social stories, and anything else that we thought might help. We also began letting people know what was going on, and even talked to Logan a little bit about it. I asked him if he had heard us talk about Aspergers. And he said he had. So I explained that all it means is that his brain works differently that other kids. Some things he is going to pick up very quickly , and other things like social skills and potty training he is going to have to try very hard to learn. He seemed satisfied with the explanation almost as if he knew what I meant. So now that we were staring down the looming D Day I didn't have the anxiety I expected. I was already at peace with everything that made my son special and amazing including Aspergers.
The office visit was very long. I believe we were there for over 2 hours. We went over all the school tests and all the tests that they had done and every single one he fell into the small area on the Autism Spectrum where Aspergers falls. We also spent a long time discussing if now was the right time for him to be diagnosed. 4 is very young for an Aspergers diagnosis, apparently it normally happens between 6 and 8. After talking out all the pros and cons, the Dr decided it was in Logan's best interest to diagnose him now. My opinion was if it looks like a duck, walk like a duck, acts like a duck, and is responding to a duck call, lets call it a duck so he can get the help a duck might need. In the end, they did diagnose him with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and he falls where Aspergers currently is on the spectrum. As of the release of the next DSM-5 Aspergers is no longer a diagnosis, and it will all be under the umbrella diagnosis of ASD. That is a post for another day though.
Through out the appointment we received a ton of very encouraging news. First off although he needs help in several areas he said that getting Logan through school will be the hardest part. He also said that all though they won't do an IQ test until around 6, his language and cognitive scores are a very good indication that he will be incredibly bright and combined with his ability to hyper focus on certain subjects, as in adult he most likely will be amazing in whatever career he chooses. We also went over the services we have lined up for the next school year and who we contact for any other services we may need. He was very happy with the plan we had in place. All in all I thought I would cry hearing it be finalized, surprisingly my reaction was one of relief and resolve to be my son's biggest advocate. The hardest part is over now we know and can help him acquire the skills needed to be a successful adult. I guess now we just wait and see where this adventure takes us.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Wrong Walmart...
So those of you who know Logan, understand his need for routine and things he is familiar with. If he had his way he would never have to leave his room, could play trains until he passes out every evening and survive on nothing but cheese sandwiches and cream cheese bagels. He has been branching out lately and has even enjoyed our busy schedule. We started prepping him before we leave the house each day with the schedule so he knows what is coming. We have to include every detail, such as we are going to swing by the post office to drop of a letter, stop at the gas station, run to Walmart ect. If you throw in an extra stop, he gets upset because that wasn't the plan. The plan was A,B,C in that order only! So anyways we decided to take him to Charlie Safari last week which is a huge bounce house. I also needed to stop by Walmart afterwards. So I told him we will go to Charlie Safari and then we will go to Walmart. Well Charlie Safari is 20 miles north of our house, and our normal Walmart is 10 mins south. So me being an amateur thought we would stop by the Walmart right by Charlie's Safari. That is where the trouble began.
So we pull in the parking lot and immediately Logan starts freaking out! "This isn't the right Walmart." "I will not go in there." "This is the wrong Walmart." And so it proceeded until he was almost in a full panic attack. So I calmly explained that we were too far away from the other Walmart, and this Walmart was the same as the one we normally go to. We spelled out Walmart on the building and everything. And he was NOT having it. It literally took me 15 minutes to convince him that he would not spontaneously burst in to flames if he entered the wrong Walmart. I finally told him that they had more toys than our Walmart and we should go check out the new Cars 2 toys to see what they had before we pass judgement. And as though a light switch flipped he agreed and he cautiously walked to the door with me.
It was one of those moments I never saw coming. We have been helping him with his coping skills and preparing him for changes in the plan, but I never thought a different Walmart would trigger such a strong response. We survived our little shopping adventure, and today we went to a different Walmart, to see how he would react. And as we were walking in he explained to Daddy that this was a wonderful different Walmart, and that it was OK. And Sam and I both smiled with a sigh of relief. I suppose we should get used to these surprising bumps along the way, and practice helping him through. We have had these issues before at school with different things like the job chart, and the first time is always the worst. Then when it comes up again and I remind him that last time it worked out and that usually helps ease his mind a bit. I guess we are all learning coping skills, and it keeps getting better every day!
So we pull in the parking lot and immediately Logan starts freaking out! "This isn't the right Walmart." "I will not go in there." "This is the wrong Walmart." And so it proceeded until he was almost in a full panic attack. So I calmly explained that we were too far away from the other Walmart, and this Walmart was the same as the one we normally go to. We spelled out Walmart on the building and everything. And he was NOT having it. It literally took me 15 minutes to convince him that he would not spontaneously burst in to flames if he entered the wrong Walmart. I finally told him that they had more toys than our Walmart and we should go check out the new Cars 2 toys to see what they had before we pass judgement. And as though a light switch flipped he agreed and he cautiously walked to the door with me.
It was one of those moments I never saw coming. We have been helping him with his coping skills and preparing him for changes in the plan, but I never thought a different Walmart would trigger such a strong response. We survived our little shopping adventure, and today we went to a different Walmart, to see how he would react. And as we were walking in he explained to Daddy that this was a wonderful different Walmart, and that it was OK. And Sam and I both smiled with a sigh of relief. I suppose we should get used to these surprising bumps along the way, and practice helping him through. We have had these issues before at school with different things like the job chart, and the first time is always the worst. Then when it comes up again and I remind him that last time it worked out and that usually helps ease his mind a bit. I guess we are all learning coping skills, and it keeps getting better every day!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
He is just quirky......right?!?
I am not sure were to begin this blog. In some ways this situation just began and in other ways it has been in the works for years. And I decided to share our story in the hopes of giving other people a glimpse into our life, and bringing hope to other families touched by Autism and Aspergers. In some ways it feels very strange to be writing this because my son has still not been officially diagnosed. All we know for sure is that he is developmentally delayed in social, adaptive, and fine motor skills. They have not "officially" attached a name to it yet, and yet I feel very confident in saying my son has Aspergers. It sounds like such a scary thing, Aspergers a Autism Spectrum Disorder. But in the Bocook house we see it a bit differently than most people. It isn't an label, it isn't a disability, it isn't a scary big bad word. It is one of the many things that makes my son amazing. It has as many perks as drawbacks. He is gifted and sees the world through a truly amazing perspective. He sees the world from outside the box, has a true love of learning, and an almost photographic memory. His world is organized chaos, full of amazing patterns and structure. We may not understand the rules but if we take the time to ask, there is a method to his madness. He loves dictionary definitions, trains, and is starting to take to spelling to and math. He is amazing if people just take the time to see it.
He is not without his issues. He can be VERY literal. I really have to watch what I say around him. We recently were learning the planets, because he is fascinated with space. And I was explaining Uranus. And as he was repeating them back to me he said and that blue planet is "My Anus" planet. It has now been almost six months and I think we have him convinced that is is Uranus, not My Anus. At 4 years old I will admit that it was hilarious and a but adorable. But these misunderstanding happen on an almost daily basis and I can see problems in the future if we don't work on these things. Another issue is he can be very rigid which makes making friends a bit tough. When he plays trains he has ONE order in which it is acceptable to play trains, for instance Hank (from Thomas) and then 3 grey freight cars, 2 green, 1 blue then a caboose. There is no other order, so when another 4 year old wants to play World War 3 ensues. He struggles with potty training, transitions, routine change ups, and the list goes on and on. BUT, and that is a BIG but, all of that seems to fade away when you sit down and take the time to see Logan for Logan. For the most part we have been extremely blessed to be surrounded by loving wonderful people who are supportive and understanding. To the rest of the people who we have encountered, they get the standard answer of, "We Are Working on That." Now if you have received that response from me it doesn't mean you automatically fall into the second category. It means that sometimes I don't want to go into why he is doing what he is doing. I am new to all this too, and when he is doing something out of the ordinary like melting down because the trains are out of order, playing with the shopping cart wheels, or making strange sounds when he gets stressed out we can't explain it any better that you can.
I feel like it is my job as his parent to help him develop his talents and strengthen his weakness. That is going to happen regardless of whether not he has Aspergers. He has his evaluation appointment this next week and I thankful we can move on from the "Winging it" stage. Although we have made huge strides, now we will have the resources to help him achieve his true potential. I am thankful to have an amazing husband who is truly on board through this process. In our house we celebrate the small stuff, whether it be a good day at school, a poop in the potty, eye contact or an unsolicited "I Love You." Some say Autism is a lifetime diagnosis but that doesn't mean it has to be a life sentence. Please feel free to comment and tell me a bit about your stories or connection with Autism. I will be continuing this blog to document our Aspergers Adventure.
He is not without his issues. He can be VERY literal. I really have to watch what I say around him. We recently were learning the planets, because he is fascinated with space. And I was explaining Uranus. And as he was repeating them back to me he said and that blue planet is "My Anus" planet. It has now been almost six months and I think we have him convinced that is is Uranus, not My Anus. At 4 years old I will admit that it was hilarious and a but adorable. But these misunderstanding happen on an almost daily basis and I can see problems in the future if we don't work on these things. Another issue is he can be very rigid which makes making friends a bit tough. When he plays trains he has ONE order in which it is acceptable to play trains, for instance Hank (from Thomas) and then 3 grey freight cars, 2 green, 1 blue then a caboose. There is no other order, so when another 4 year old wants to play World War 3 ensues. He struggles with potty training, transitions, routine change ups, and the list goes on and on. BUT, and that is a BIG but, all of that seems to fade away when you sit down and take the time to see Logan for Logan. For the most part we have been extremely blessed to be surrounded by loving wonderful people who are supportive and understanding. To the rest of the people who we have encountered, they get the standard answer of, "We Are Working on That." Now if you have received that response from me it doesn't mean you automatically fall into the second category. It means that sometimes I don't want to go into why he is doing what he is doing. I am new to all this too, and when he is doing something out of the ordinary like melting down because the trains are out of order, playing with the shopping cart wheels, or making strange sounds when he gets stressed out we can't explain it any better that you can.
I feel like it is my job as his parent to help him develop his talents and strengthen his weakness. That is going to happen regardless of whether not he has Aspergers. He has his evaluation appointment this next week and I thankful we can move on from the "Winging it" stage. Although we have made huge strides, now we will have the resources to help him achieve his true potential. I am thankful to have an amazing husband who is truly on board through this process. In our house we celebrate the small stuff, whether it be a good day at school, a poop in the potty, eye contact or an unsolicited "I Love You." Some say Autism is a lifetime diagnosis but that doesn't mean it has to be a life sentence. Please feel free to comment and tell me a bit about your stories or connection with Autism. I will be continuing this blog to document our Aspergers Adventure.
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